Hello lovely people – it’s been a long long while but this is something that was so important I had to come back to starting my blog again. So here it is:
Why are there people who are happily married and ones who aren’t?
A wise friend once told me that there are 5 love languages. I didn’t really realize the importance of it till I was observing my best friend and her fiancé yesterday.
My best friend and I met in NY and lived together – but I moved back to Japan and she moved back to Korea. She started seeing her fiancé about three years ago, and I’d been seeing them together through SNS but I had never met him in person till she got engaged and she brought him all the way to Korea to introduce him to me.
I spent two days with them, full 48 hours – (I had to third wheel the poor newly engaged because of my hotel employee discount situation. Ha, ha, ha,) and I learned that they are truly, truly great together.
Sure, it’s almost too obvious they belong together – they both love traveling, they genuinely enjoy being around each other, they both comes from similar background – as working actors (they met on set), and their preferences in lifestyles and living are very similar.
But I realized something more important, something more important for lasting happiness in couples.
That long term happiness is built on small, everyday happiness, or, instant satisfactions and candid and seemingly not-so-important moments.
In short, it’s important that if you give gestures of love to someone, they should either reciprocate it or accept it.
The five love languages which are those that follows below in the photo.
Each person speaks love language differently.
It’s important to learn your partner’s love language – so when they’re giving it to you, you’ll recognize that that is the way of how they communicate love.
For example, I give gifts to everyone who I love – friends, family and partner. Most just accept these gifts, but my father always say “why did you buy these? It’s unnecessary.” Granted he’s my father so of course I’m not gonna stop loving him but when he responds that way, I do feel rejected or even feel punished by feeling guilty. That I tried to make dad happy, but I did something wrong, because I ended up upsetting him.
Actually, physical touch is more special love language to me, because I only give it to one I romantically love. Physically holding them, being held by then gives me instant satisfaction. Therefore, when I am rejected to physically touch or hold them, I feel as if my love is rejected- that’s because touch is my way of expressing love.
I believe people who stays happily together longer have those love language communication mastered between them.
It’s okay that if you guys express love in different manners, but what’s crucially important is that you have to recognize your partner’s love language and when it’s given to you. Please see that they are expressing their love, and please accept it and maybe if you can, reciprocate it – or simply, just say thank you. Just give them some sort of sign that you appreciate their love communication. When they’re expressing love, it’s a person’s most vulnerable moment. If one is rejected of their love language, they would feel like being punched in the heart- well at least to me – it does feel like it. My heart sinks.
Learn to recognize your partners love language first, if you want to stay with that person for long long time.
I really appreciated being around my best friend and fiancé because made me realize what’s been bugging me. I simply just needed my love language to be understood and accepted.
I hope this will help everyone who had been just lost at communicating love – because it gets frustrating when it feels like your partner just doesn’t get you.
Maybe you are tiny bit guilty not hadn’t been to understand why your loved one seems upset.
Now practice away!! Love and be loved, express them your love language and accept their love 😉
until next time 🤗💝