What’s your moral code?

How do you make up your moral codes? – a close friend of mine with whom I’ve been working the past 12 months asked me. He said he got curious, while watching how I treat and interact with customers and co-workers.

I don’t think my moral codes are that strict, or nowhere close to being perfect. I love outlaw shows like Breaking Bad or La Casa de Moneda – the Spanish Netflix romantic crime show. My dream role is Cersei Lannister – okay I might be losing my credibility here as you’re reading this… 😂 BUT, if this means anything to you – I’ve never stolen anything in my life – nor done shop lifting ever when I was little. (My friends were always stealing erasers and pens in bookstores, but I never did!) Nope, never stolen no one either, haha. But I sometimes pick up trash which people littered at beaches or on the streets. So my friend got curious. How do I do that when no one is watching you? Cuz I hadn’t no idea I was being watched by him!

I would say my codes started to make up when I was in Catholic elementary school. The nuns and teachers told us little souls – they get us at such early ages- “Jesus and Angels are always watching you, so always be good.”

(Now I told you I’ve never stolen things, but I wasn’t a total angel. I was a naughty little one. I used to fight with boys a lot in second grade. I even had my karate chop moves. I would beat up boys who were bullies, and got in trouble with them often.)

While I was in my Catholic elementary school, my moral codes were determined by what would angels or God think of my actions. However, after a while, as I got older, I grew apart from religious values. I even started to hate it when people do something because “that is what Jesus would do”. That didn’t feel genuine to me at all. So instead, I started to do thing that would make me feel good about myself. I do the right thing because if I don’t, I know I would regret it later. I decided to be good for my own self esteem. Do the right thing because you want to, because you genuinely, truly want to do something good.

I asked my friend how about him? How does HE make choices? At that moment he just found out he was having a baby. So, for him, he told me, he decided to do the right things because he wants his child to be proud of him; that he doesn’t want to let her down.

Doing the things that are right because you genuinely want to, because it looks right to you, or because you want to make your loved ones proud – and it will lead you to loving yourself and having higher self esteem. Everyone wins! 🤗

Thank you for reading,

Until next time – stay happy!



The Importance of Communicating Love Language -do you know how your partner expresses love?

Hello lovely people – it’s been a long long while but this is something that was so important I had to come back to starting my blog again. So here it is:

Why are there people who are happily married and ones who aren’t?

A wise friend once told me that there are 5 love languages. I didn’t really realize the importance of it till I was observing my best friend and her fiancé yesterday.

My best friend and I met in NY and lived together – but I moved back to Japan and she moved back to Korea. She started seeing her fiancé about three years ago, and I’d been seeing them together through SNS but I had never met him in person till she got engaged and she brought him all the way to Korea to introduce him to me.

I spent two days with them, full 48 hours – (I had to third wheel the poor newly engaged because of my hotel employee discount situation. Ha, ha, ha,) and  I learned that they are truly, truly great together.

Sure, it’s almost too obvious they belong together – they both love traveling, they genuinely enjoy being around each other, they both comes from similar background – as working actors (they met on set), and their preferences in lifestyles and living are very similar.

But I realized something more important, something more important for lasting happiness in couples.

That long term happiness is built on small, everyday happiness, or, instant satisfactions and candid and seemingly not-so-important moments.

In short, it’s important that if you give gestures of love to someone, they should either reciprocate it or accept it. 

The five love languages which are those that follows below in the photo.



Each person speaks love language differently. 

It’s important to learn your partner’s love language – so when they’re giving it to you, you’ll recognize that that is the way of how they communicate love. 

For example, I give gifts to everyone who I love – friends, family and partner. Most just accept these gifts, but my father always say “why did you buy these? It’s unnecessary.” Granted he’s my father so of course I’m not gonna stop loving him but when he responds that way, I do feel rejected or even feel punished by feeling guilty. That I tried to make dad happy, but I did something wrong, because I ended up upsetting him.

Actually, physical touch is more special love language to me, because I only give it to one I romantically love. Physically holding them, being held by then gives me instant satisfaction. Therefore, when I am rejected to physically touch or hold them, I feel as if my love is rejected- that’s because touch is my way of expressing love. 

I believe people who stays happily together longer have those love language communication mastered between them. 

It’s okay that if you guys express love in different manners, but what’s crucially  important is that you have to recognize your partner’s love language and when it’s given to you. Please see that they are expressing their love, and please accept it and maybe if you can, reciprocate it – or simply, just say thank you. Just give them some sort of sign that you appreciate their love communication. When they’re expressing love, it’s a person’s most vulnerable moment. If one is rejected of their love language, they would feel like being punched in the heart- well at least to me – it does feel like it. My heart sinks. 

Learn to recognize your partners love language first, if you want to stay with that person for long long time.

I really appreciated being around my best friend and fiancé because made me realize what’s been bugging me. I simply just needed my love language to be understood and accepted.

I hope this will help everyone who had been just lost at communicating love – because it gets frustrating when it feels like your partner just doesn’t get you.

Maybe you are tiny bit guilty not hadn’t been to understand why your loved one seems upset.


Now practice away!! Love and be loved, express them your love language and accept their love 😉


thanks everyone,

until next time 🤗💝